Successful completion

I have now finished one third of my library science degree.

It was a good semester, even though I think all of us at one point or another had a little breakdown and more than a few sleepless nights.  Which was weird, because I do not ever remember a night before when i did not sleep at all, even a little bit, but I had a few this semester.

Even weirder is that I didn't really think I was stressed out most of the time, but my body did.

I definitely have more grey hairs.

But I think I learned a lot, and I could definitely put my knowledge to good use right now if I wanted to.  I also had some really good profs, and i felt really lucky in that respect.

I am also very excited about the summer semester.  I did not get in to all the classes that I wanted to, but I am 4th on the waiting list for the class that I really wanted, so I just have to attend the class for the first few weeks and hope someone drops it, or the prof decides to let me take the class anyway.

My weekend this summer starts on thursday at noon, and goes till monday at 6pm.  I am only going to take 4 courses instead of 5, so I will hopefully not be nearly as stressed out as i was this semester.  also, one of the courses ends in the middle of july, so that should make the end of term a bit easier to handle.

I also made a lot of really good friends this year, and we cemented that friendship with numerous pub lunches to calm each other down over the last few weeks of the term, so that, and knowing what is expected of us now will make this semester coming up a whole lot easier!

I am excited!

Down to the wire

I have a huge paper due tomorrow.  Have i written any of it?  no.  well, ok, i have an introduction, and i have it all laid out, and i know the points i am going to make.

It is just the will to write it that is not there.

I have no idea if this is the kind of thing he wants at all, but this is what i am going to write about, so there! nyah!

I know I have the time to write it, it isn't due until midnight tomorrow, and i have to stay at school until after 10pm tonight, because there is a wine tasting group happening right outside my bedroom tonight, so i will get no work done here if i stay.

but convincing myself i have plenty of time doesn't really help me with getting started.

argh!

and i made cheese things for a party at school today, so now my apartment smells like hot cheese.

When i get this paper done, i only have a minute of a ten minute presentation to do, and then i am done for the semester!  then i get three weeks off and start the torture all over again!

Sorry this is weird and stream of consciousnessy but i am a little addled at the moment, and all i can smell is cheese!

Can you tell this paper is going to make a whole lot of sense when i finally get around to writing it?

Google me!

EEEEEEE!  I am on Google Scholar!  You can Google me and actually find me and not just references to the character in the Johanna Lindsey novel (which apparently doesn't come up any more, hmm, trumped by social media).  Well ok, you can Google Scholar me and find my Master's Thesis, which, i must admit is awesome, and I got very excited in class when I found this out  and was told by three different people that I was "too cute". can you tell my voice is going up octaves and getting faster!  This can only end in jazz hands!  and maybe some jumping up and down!  

EEEE!! 

Bad Day! Bad!

Arg!  Today was not a good day!

I had far too much work to do and not enough time to do it in so I was anxious all day.

It started with a class about i have no idea what, that none of us had had time to do the readings for, which somehow morphed into some woman in the class talking about changing the world through the ethical guidelines for libraries.  And one day every child shall have a rainbow to sleep on and a unicorn for a pet.  I was totally not in the mood and had to try really hard not to storm out of the class or punch her in the face.  The only high point is that the prof actually liked something i said and kept on referring to it, and then I got to prove him wrong about something and the whole class backed me up!

And then I got to go deal with a prof who accused me of cheating on an assignment because five of us got the same wrong answer (totally did not cheat, just happened to get the same answer as five other people because it is right, but the prof doesn't know enough stats to say so, or explain to me how it is wrong, because I was right!)

Then I spent from 1pm-6pm editing a group assignment.  Damned thing is 20 pages long and written by five different people, so yeah, took awhile. bah!

And whenever I got up to stretch or ask one of my group members a question, other kids from my class would say, "What are you working on?  theory?  cataloging?  online searching?"  and I would say, "No, I haven't even gotten to those yet, I'm still editing research methods!"  and getting more and more worried about the amount of work I have left to do.  Far, far too much work.  And only a week to do it in!

ARGH!

Tainted Victory

I have never pulled a april fools joke before.  Or any kind of prank really.  But this morning when I woke up, I thought, "This is my year!  I am going to do it this year!"


I even had the perfect idea.  This is course registration week for my program, and we have all been posting our course selections in our facebook status.  So, even though last night I cheerfully posted my course selection, this is what I posted this morning:

Last night after I registered I really thought about things, and decided I don't want to be doing this any more. I have unregistered, and I am not quite sure if I will be coming back to London after this weekend.

I am not exactly sure what response I was hoping for.  I hadn't really thought it through past "this would be a perfect april fools joke!"

The first response I got was from G who said "really?  are you ok?", so I immediately set up a chat with her to let her know it was an april fools joke and i was fine.  Before she answered though, the next response came in from another girl that said "is this an april fools joke?"

So that was the end, but I was fine with that.  until the next response that came from a guy in our class who is a friend of G's

"Burn.On.You. G, that will teach you to care about people in public!"

Noooooo!  That was not my intention at alll!!!  I would never want someone to feel that way! People have made me feel that way my entire life and I know how horrible it is for people to laugh at you for a normal human reaction of concern.  All of my friends (and "friends") have always called me gullible my entire life, but when I tried to be skeptical, they always got offended and ostracized me for not showing concern for someone's completely unbelievable problem.  Damned if you do, and double damned if you don't.  So then I thought about the whole joke and realized that that was the kind of joke it was, and how horrible it was to have made someone feel that way.  So I started apologizing profusely on facebook, but G and the guy both said that I had got her fair and square and shouldn't be apologizing.  

Then in class tonight, the guy sat next to me, and I said "you didn't have to be so mean to her!"  and he said, "what?  i am not the one who made a joke so they could laugh at people. and you got her fair and square"  "That wasn't my intention," i said in a small voice.  "Well, anyway, G and me are buddies, and she can take some ribbing."  but i had apologized to her in person a little earlier, and she was ok with it,  and said I shouldn't apologize, but I could tell she was still feeling kind of stupid for being a gullible person.

arg!  So, I guess the joke is really on me!  April Fools pulled a whopping good prank on me by convincing me that it would be a fun thing to do.  And even worse, people were congratulating me on a good joke in class.  

Never Again!  

Investigating

So, the other day, I did something quite unthinkable.  I conducted what one of my friends referred to as an "investigation into my past."


I asked one of the guys from our high school group of friends why he thought no one had ever asked me out in high school.


I know you are all terrified by this, I was too, but i figured even though it is something that people don't usually ask, I really wanted to know.  needed to know.  and I knew that this guy would know the answer if there was something to know, and that he would give me a straight up honest answer.  he really is the only person I ever would have asked this question of among any of the guys i have ever known. ok, straight guys i have ever known.  lets face it, i needed a heterosexual, alpha male perspective on this.


It actually went quite well.  I have my own ideas of what I was like in high school, and it was very good to get a different perspective on myself.


I remembered being a geek with a zitty face, bad hair, and hardly any friends.


That stuff didn't even make it into his recollections.  He remembered liking being around me because I was "smart, funny, and always in a good mood."  The only thing he remembered that he didn't like about my appearance was my short upper lip, and my flat bum, which he admitted are only personal preferences.


He actually liked the way I dressed, and my long neck, my beautiful hands, and my eyes.  My "get lost in them for a thousand years enchanting.  like have to throw your eyes in the pits of mordor enchanting" eyes.


oh, and my "gigantic knocks"


He said it was probably my smartness that scared guys off, "guys were just intimidated by a woman that could be more alpha male than the males could."  he says guys have fragile egos and think that if they are not dominant they are doing something wrong.  plus, i didn't seem to be interested in the stuff guys are interested in, and guys are pretty self-absorbed.




All in all, i found it a pretty good exercise.  I am still processing how to incorporate these ideas into my life, but it was really good to see what kind of a lasting impression I make on people, and how the fragile high school male ego perceived it all.

New Specs! New Specs!

So, internet, here are my new glasses:

These brown ones are juicy couture,  the style is called "behave".  Perfect for a librarian, yes?  they are brown with bone coloured stripes down the arms.   They are my business specs.

and these are my funky glasses, they have the magnetic clip-on sunglasses too, which is spectacular!  you can't see it in the photo very well, but the arms are the same colour as the front of the frames, a burgundy red, and the insides are an awesome lime green.  very cool.