=le sigh=

my brother's hot friend came to dinner on sunday.  I had no idea this was happening until it was too late.  I thought we were just having some friends over for chili.  these particular friends are so much like family that we don't dress for dinner, just wear what we were wearing all day.

well sunday i helped dad snow-blow and shovel for a couple of hours (extremely long driveway, plus corner lot's worth of sidewalks), so i didn't have a shower cause i knew i would get hot and sweaty.  Then my friend across the street called and asked if i wanted to go for a walk, so i immediately went out for a walk with her.  it was a long walk.  i obviously missed all discussions of dinner and didn't realize another friend had been invited.  i got back about ten minutes before everyone arrived.

the other friend happened to be my brother's hot friend's mom (who was also my high-school french teacher one year and looked the other way when i potato-peeled a mean guy in my class.  awesome!) and guess who just happened to be visiting from montreal for the weekend?

we were seated at the table before i found out that my brother's hot friend might also show up at some point for dinner.  riiiight.  when i hadn't had a shower all day, hadn't washed my hair in two days, and was still wearing the sweaty t-shirt i had shoveled in.  lovely.  and he, of course, was seated next to me at the dinner table, looking just as fashionably, gorgeously rumpled as usual.  =le sigh=

oh well. he has just always made me feel so inferior, but he was actually pretty ok this time, teasing me about not being done my thesis, but that being ok. maybe we are fine when no other young people are around, cause last christmas he made me feel like a gawky 13 year old in front of my brother and his sister, but then we rode the bus back from toronto on new years, and we had a great chat about marriage, and responsibilities of living with other people (like letting them know where you are going when you go walkabout for a few weeks).  we decided he wasn't ready for marriage yet.

i know too much about him to ever want to marry him.  and i know being married to him would probably be hell.  but he is just. so. hot. 

wouldn't anyone want to be wanted by someone as beautiful as him?