Torture of the Innocent

Today we took the little monster to the allergist.

He was great in the car and great in the waiting room, well, ok, the stairs up to the offices. Old building, one common waiting room in the old lobby and then a big steep staircase up to the offices (totally not accessible to those with mobility issues, I can only assume there was an elevator somewhere). Anyway, monster spent the waiting time showing all the old people in the waiting room how well he can climb stairs, and then flirting with the receptionists at the top.

Once we got into the office the trouble started.

First of all, he did not like sitting on the crinkly paper on the exam table.

Then taking off his shirt and being attacked by a stethoscope was a crying offense.

Then he had to be held on his mom's lap in preparation for the nurse to come in. You do not hold the monster in captivity. This was also a crying offense.

Then the nurse came in, and not only did he have to be held even tighter by his mom, but I had to hold onto his wee little arm while the nurse dropped the allergens on his arm and pricked them. This was a screaming, twisting, face going purple offense.

And then we had to sit like that, me with a strong grip on his poor wee little arm and hand, his mom with a strong grip on the rest of him and his other hand, for 20 minutes.

20 minutes of tortured, vocal chord ripping screams.

We were able to distract him with some strawberries and blueberries for a few minutes, but then the nurse came in and mopped up some of the blood that had dripped down his elbow and told us we still had 10 minutes left, right when we ran out of blueberries and there were only a few strawberries left. We threw some Cheerios into the mix and bought a little bit more time.

He started screaming full force as soon as he saw the nurse again when she came to clean him off and check the results. He calmed down after that, then screamed again when we changed his diaper.

The thing is, we went there because we thought he was allergic to eggs and dairy. So all they tested for was eggs and dairy. And we found out that he was indeed allergic to eggs and dairy.

We asked the doctor about nuts, and he said, "Oh he shouldn't be eating them at his age anyway, they are a choking hazard."

So we still have no idea if there are any other food allergies lying in wait, which is kinda what we wanted to find out.

Poor little monster went through all of that just to find out what we already knew.